The Doctor and the Carpenter (Nov 2001)
Lewis Carol fans will immediately recognise the style and meter which
seemed perfect for this true tail. A gentle poetic license is exercised
and no criticism implied of any of the people involved who handled the
whole affair with competence. Doc John Brotherhood was skilfully tended
and sheltered by his injured colleague: carpenter Jim Shirtcliffe. Base
Commander Ricky Chin gets a little ribbing not because of any failing but
because this was the year Base Leaders were restyled "Commanders" and we
all took the piss. The "we" references below are also poetic license as I
was not around to take part in the events, being en-route for the
Shackleton Range.
The sun was shining on the ice, it looked to bright and clean
And every little snowquin glinted pink and gold and green
And no crevasses marred the track, at least none to be seen.
A mile or two from Halley Bay, where sea and shelf ice meet,
There was a wall of gleaming cliffs, in height a hundred feet,
And on a wondrous day as this, the scene was quite a treat.
The doctor and the carpenter were sledging close at hand
To see those cliffs, they both agreed, indeed it would be grand
Right manfully they hauled their gear towards the frozen strand.
"The day is fine," the doctor said, "Indeed it is quite warm."
They did not notice to the east, great cloud banks start to form
And all too soon they were engulfed within a polar storm.
Too late they headed back to base, but quite soon lost the track
They veered too far, stepped off the cliff (a compass they did lack)
The carpenter was quite cut up, the doctor broke his back.
The men on base were panicking, the loo door jammed and bent
The carpenter was needed, so a rescue team was sent,
Eventually the two were found, both loitering within tent.
"Ironic this," the doctor said, "In fact it is quite thick,
"Cos, I'm the one who should stay well, "To tend the lame and sick."
The carpenter said nothing but "It was stupid trick!"
The two were carried back with care, and all were quite surprised,
The carpenter was patched up, and bed rest then advised,
The doctor needed X-rays which we took he supervised.
The base commander then took charge, and said "I'll send you home".
'Til someone gently said to him that all the ships had gone.
"Let's send an SOS," he said, "You know it could be fun."
Then two days on a drone was heard, from way up in the sky,
The lads dashed out and looked about: two planes approached on high,
Across the Polar continent, the Yanks had dared to fly.
Just then the pilot phoned the base: "Is anyone to hand?
"I must admit, from where sit, your place looks really grand,
"Oh by the way, could you mark out, a place for me to land?"
The base commander scratched his head and said, "We're in a stew"
The base commander scratched his head and said, "What can we do?"
As though to say to all who heard, he hadn't got a clue.
But then a diesel mech. came up and whispered in his ear
Reminding him of surplus stores, which got shipped down each year
They'd half a ton of cocoa left, 'cos all they drank was beer.
"The very thing," the leader said, "Now we can get a grip,
"And there's a silver lining to our doctors sorry slip,
"We'll rid ourselves of cocoa as we mark a landing strip."
With happy shout, the lads dashed out, and really went to town,
And made a brand new runway, outlined in chocolate brown,
And then they stood and waited as one mercy plain touched down.
The second plane, the escort flight, had nothing much to do,
For safety's sake, their orders were to circle in the blue
But after such a lengthy flight did they not need the loo?
The aircrew were made welcome, by our many chocolate grins,
We gave them hospitality, of coffee, tea and gins,
We could not offer cocoa 'cos we'd emptied all the tins.
The pilot said the landing strip was quite the best one going,
But smiled and then apologised, for he'd assumed our knowing
"A simple fire," he said, "would show, which way the wind was blowing".
With jet assisted take off, the plane gave lots of power,
Which blew the cocoa all about, and made the lads quite sour,
So everyone then trooped inside and lined up for the shower.
The doctor made the long flight home, his full recovery sure,
The carpenter, he stayed on base, to mend that broken door,
You may think that's the end on that but there was one thing more
A fortnight on, a keen young lad, with hearing quite acute,
Said, "There's a plane," and dashed outside, we followed, hot pursuit
Large boxes were descending, beneath a parachute.
Anticipation mounted for the contents of those freights
Presents from our loved ones? and letters from our mates?
But all we got was cocoa, about a dozen crates.
The last line is most unfair, we did get presents and letters from home as
well as a new supply of magazines and other goodies from the Americans in
McMurdo.