Men of Halley (January 69)
This song was written with definite "commercial" intentions, except I knew
the returns would be minimal. I had taken photos of most activities and
jobs on base and many of the characters, I intended preparing the
inevitable slide show telling of life at Halley but wanted an entertaining
format - hence the song. Explanatory notes are appended!
There's a loan British Antarctic Survey station
Where the lads are destined for a two year stay
So I'll make a bit of noise
And tell you all about those boys
Who live in huts beneath the ice at Halley Bay.
Now they say we have no censor, ban nor curfew
We have no politics to curb our way
So tell me why they should employ
Both an old man and a boy
To jam the radio a hundred times a day?
Every morning 'ere the base has started stirring
A balloon ascends to greet the dawning day
Whilst the radar mech. (no jacket)
Sweats inside his cab to track it
But he's often know to let them go astray.
In the winter months you may be feeling chilly
You may be cold as in your bed you lay
Though our generators go
All they generate is woe
For a choked off diesel mech. who's going grey.
If you want to see the Aurora Australis
Or make certain gravity is still in play
See those geophysic boys
With their huts and shiny toys
In their large estate just half a mile away.
"Oh not scradge again" you'll hear when taking dinner
Its seven times a week if its a day
But we'll give the cooks their due
For ingredients are few
And food poisoning has not yet come our way.
As time passes you may see the building settle
A fitting door will never stay that way
When the chippy's job is done
Shaving wood off by the ton
There'll be nought but hinge and handle in the way.
Now in August you may hear complaining met. men
For obs. at minus forty is no play
But when summer comes around
They'll be sprawled upon the ground
Soaking up the sun before it sets next May.
Now the doctor's life is easy down at Halley
No bug or virus ever this way strayed
So to penguins he did turn
For he now had time to burn
Caused by rapid falling off in people trade.
If you want to get in touch with home relations
Then just send a telegram without delay
Any hold up is a crime
For wireless ops. have lots of time
And we reckon they should both be on half pay
You may think we are all occupied at Halley
But two scientists now claim redundance pay
For geology's no go
When the base is built on snow
An the nearest rock's two hundred miles away.
Off the base the glaciologists are working
They're planting stakes and flags in fine array
But as Party night draws near
With the chance of gin and beer
You can bank on their returning to the fray.
Now the hottest place at Halley is the garage
Where the visitor should take in tea on tray
But one glance inside the doors
Shows you the over-heating cause
Not the motors but the pin-ups on display.
Who should be in charge of this conglomeration
Which unlucky guy do we all want to slay
When our efforts seem in vain
Let's all grumble and complain
At the base commander i/c Halley Bay.
Now there's one type left to mention in this story
He's the most important man at Halley Bay
Turns his hand to any work
He will never ever shirk
Yes of course, I mean the versatile G.A.
Some of the above may need explanation for the uninitiated, if so read
on:
The oldest and youngest base members were "Pop" Pitts and "Ham" Groom who
were ionosphericists with the job of watching the aurora and other sky
phenomena. This involved regular radio blasts at the ether which
interrupted radio communication.
The geophysicists were looking at movement of the ice shelf and other
humanly undetectable disturbances. Their instrumentation was so sensitive
that no one was allowed within quarter of a mile of the observation
installations. My reference to the aurora is mistaken, confused because
one of the geophysicists, Jim Jameson, was a keen private aurora observer.
"Scradge" was the generic word for stew or anything vaguely resembling it.
Indeed it really covered any meal which was not instantly recognised as
roast beef and Yorkshire pud or fish and chips.
"Met" applied to anything meteorological - weather, instruments, personnel,
observation duties (Obs). The senior met man was "Smet", naturally.
Antarctica is a very health environment giving the doctor little to do.
His personal research project was penguins and in particular the leg
structure. Did you know that the knees of Emperor Penguins (possible all
penguins) are permanently bent at right angles! No wonder they waddle as
they do - try it!
Halley Bay is built on the floating Brunt Ice Shelf. The Theron Mountains
are the nearest exposed rock 250 miles away. This may not seem far by
motorway and fast car standards but at 2 mph it takes a long time. To
compound the problem, work there was completed in 1966 and the 67/68
geologists were due to study the Shackleton Range, another 100 miles we
thought. We did not succeed in getting there in '67 as the songs tell. In
1968 the geologists were flown out to the mountains.
The glaciologists, when on field trips operated relatively close to the
base and regularly scheduled their trips so as to be home by Saturday night
- party night.
The GA, officially the general assistant but always known as "gash 'and",
was just that and with a show of interest, tact and manoeuvring one could
dabble in most aspects of base life. Consequently although my main job was
expedition logistics, dog feeding and preparing equipment for field trips,
I was also painter and decorator, assistant electrician, occasional radar
operator, tractor driver, cook, carpenter. I was also the lavatory
attendant having to twice abseil into the loo to demolish the "turdicles"
or "shitemites" which had grown alarmingly in the frozen conditions and
threatened to impale unsuspecting sitters.